“Funny things that happen when an incubus demon and a girl share an apartment together.”
Tonari no Incubus by Dichrome is a story that has yet to truly delve into the plot. The readers have been introduced to the main characters, and the plot has been hinted at, but not made clear. This comic only has a few episodes released so far, so there really isn’t much I can say yet about the overall plot direction.
However, I can touch on the introduction of the story, and it can use a bit of improvement. For example, it is unlikely that anyone would react the way these characters did when they found someone had broken into their house. There needs to be some character relationship development. Create some fear, doubt, and distrust between the main characters. Why should they trust this person that just broke into their house? Why help them? If you decide to create a character that blindly trusts everyone, that can still be done in a believable manner, but it requires communication about reason and purpose first.
In terms of the writing, there were a few spelling and grammar errors. As I’ve mentioned in previous (if not all) reviews, make sure you have someone who has a good understanding of the English language to read over your work before releasing it.
Aside from that, the communication flows well between characters, although it would benefit from more consistent content. The writing tends to jump around ideas, similar to that of the mind of someone who has ADHD. Flow from one conversation to the next could be enhanced with transition topics, or even through transitional panels.
Art-wise, it has a very sketchy, quick-draw art style. Longer, smoother lines may greatly improve overall aesthetics of Tonari no Incubus.
There are a few perspective and proportion errors, all of which will improve over time with practice. Using anatomical references may be useful to help you get on the right track with placement and sizing.
Although there were some issues with proportion and perspective, when it was done correctly, it was very effective.
Unfortunately, when there isn’t a lot of content it is difficult to make a review. I can only offer so much for such a short comic so far. I look forward to seeing where Dichrome will be in a year’s time, and hopefully there will be a clearer plot direction with greatly improved art and writing. With practice, I’m sure Dichrome can create a fantastic story!
You can read Tonari no Incubus by Dichrome on Tapas!